Doe Zantamata Quote

It starts with a dream.
Add faith, and it becomes a belief.
Add action, and it becomes a part of life.
Add perseverance, and it becomes a goal in sight.
Add patience and time, and it ends
with a dream come true.
~Doe Zantamata

Computer Love Poem

To all the geeks, how we all totally identify with this!

Dil Me CPU Hota To?

Yaadon Ko Save Karta

Dimaag Me Printer Hota To?

Khayaalo Ka Printout Nikal Deta

Dharkan Me Pen Drive Hoti to?

Zindagi Ka Backup Leta

Mann Me Bluetooth Hota To?

Baaten Transfer Kar Leta

Ankhon Me Webcam Hota To?

Tasviron Ko receive Kar Sakta

Zindagi 1 Computer Hoti?

Restart Kar Leta.

Funny Things You Didn't Know

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'.
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/rule-of-thumb.html

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only... Ladies Forbidden'... and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language. (This is actually not true, but interesting nonetheless) http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/146575.html

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
http://facethefacts.tumblr.com/post/423884866/the-first-couple-to-be-shown-in-bed-together-on

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.








Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
http://www.funfactz.com/interesting-facts/men-can-read-smaller-print-than-women-can-1733.html









 Coca-Cola was originally green.









 


It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: £ 10,120.00

 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter?
Tom Sawyer.







111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes


Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand



Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase...'Goodnight, sleep tight'

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'



Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.



Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan
mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is
taht the first and last ltteer be in the
rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can still raed it wouthit a
porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?


YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011
when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the
microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real
cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to
reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the
desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch
with friends and family is that they don't
have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and
use your cell phone to see if anyone is
home to help you carry in the groceries...
7. Every commercial on television has a
web site at the bottom of the screen
8. Leaving the house without your cell
phone, which you didn't even have the first
20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a
cause for panic and you turn around to go
and get it
10. You get up in the morning and go on
line before getting your coffee
11. You start tilting your head sideways to
smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and
laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom
you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no
#9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check
that there wasn't a #9 on this list

~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~
NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends.
You know you want to!
Go lick your elbow.

Some Interesting Facts

1.MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.

2.POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened.

3.BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.

4.FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).

5.DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped..

6.NEWS refers to information from Four directions N, E, W and S..

7.AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.

8.JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.

9.QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest..

10.TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.

11.JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'.GP was changed into JEEP later.

12.Coca-Cola was originally green.

13.The most common name in the world is Mohammed..

14.The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

15.The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

16.TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.

17.Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

18.You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

19.It is impossible to lick your elbow.

20.People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

21.It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

22.The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

- If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

23.Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.

o Spades - King David

o Clubs - Alexander the Great,

o Hearts – Charlemagne

o Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

24.Horse Statue in a Park…

· If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

· If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle · If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

25.What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? Ans. - All invented by women.

26.A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

27.A snail can sleep for three years.

28.All polar bears are left handed.

29.Butterflies taste with their feet.

30.Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

31.In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

32.On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

33.Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

34.Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

35.The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

36.The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

37.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

38.Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

39.Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

40.The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

41.Most lipstick contains fish scales.

42.Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

When you have an 'I Hate My Job' day

[even if retired you have those sometimes]

Try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
‘Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. ‘
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,’I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.’

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

Author unknown

This one is funny and thought that you would like to see it


if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...
 
Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson!
 
 
Enjoy life now - It has an expiry date!

Multitasking: Your brain on media consumption

Click image to enlarge

Source - http://www.bitrebels.com/lifestyle/multitasking-this-is-your-brain-on-social-media/

How Indian Doctors Loot Patients!

HOW INDIAN DOCTORS LOOT PATIENTS..

ACTUALLY ITS ALL OVER THE WORLD NOW SAME LOOT GOING ON !

Dr. B. M. Hegde has written two books and it is a must for every one to read. 'What doctors do not study in Medical colleges' Now he is bold to reveal all these. Thanks for the forward. Let us keep this circulating to reach as many as possible. (This is from Dr. B M Hegde. Wonder how much is widespread and how many are merely a few black sheep) How Indian Doctors Loot Patients. Most of these observations are either completely or partially true. Corruption has many names, and one of civil society isn't innocent either. Professionals and businessmen of various sorts indulge in unscrupulous practices. I recently had a chat with some doctors, surgeons and owners of nursing homes about the tricks of their trade. Here is what they said 1) 40-60% kickbacks for lab tests. When a doctor (whether family doctor / general physician, consultant or surgeon) prescribes tests - pathology, radiology, X-rays, MRIs etc. - the laboratory conducting those tests gives commissions. In South and Central Mumbai -- 40%. In the suburbs north of Bandra -- a whopping 60 per cent! He probably earns a lot more in this way than the consulting fees that you pay. 2) 30-40% for referring to consultants, specialists & surgeons. When your friendly GP refers you to a specialist or surgeon, he gets 30-40%. 3) 30-40% of total hospital charges. If the GP or consultant recommends hospitalization, he will receive kickback from the private nursing home as a percentage of all charges including ICU, bed, nursing care, surgery. 4) Sink tests. Some tests prescribed by doctors are not needed. They are there to inflate bills and commissions. The pathology lab understands what is unnecessary. These are called "sink tests"; blood, urine, stool samples collected will be thrown. 5) Admitting the patient to "keep him under observation". People go to cardiologists feeling unwell and anxious. Most of them aren't really having a heart attack, and cardiologists and family doctors are well aware of this. They admit such safe patients, put them on a saline drip with mild sedation, and send them home after 3-4 days after charging them a fat amount for ICU, bed charges, visiting doctors fees. 6) ICU minus intensive care. Nursing homes all over the suburbs are run by doctor couples or as one-man-shows. In such places, nurses and ward boys are 10th cl-ass drop-outs in ill-fitting uniforms and bare feet. These "nurses" sit at the reception counter, give injections and saline drips, perform ECGs, apply dressings and change bandages, and assist in the operation theatre. At night, they even sit outside the Intensive Care Units; there is no resident doctor. In case of a crisis, the doctor -- who usually lives in the same building -- will turn up after 20 minutes, after this nurse calls him. Such ICUs admit safe patients to fill up beds. Genuine patients who require emergency care are sent elsewhere to hospitals having a Resident Medical Officer (RMO) round-the-clock. 7) Unnecessary caesarean surgeries and hysterectomies. Many surgical procedures are done to keep the cash register ringing. Caesarean deliveries and hysterectomy (removal of uterus) are high on the list. While the woman with labour -pains is screaming and panicking, the obstetrician who gently suggests that caesarean is best seems like an angel sent by God! Menopausal women experience bodily changes that make them nervous and gullible. They can be frightened by words like " and "fibroids" that are in almost every normal woman's radiology reports. When a gynaecologist gently suggests womb removal "as a precaution", most women and their husbands agree without a second's thought. 8) Cosmetic surgery advertised through newspapers. Liposuction and plastic surgery are not minor procedures. Some are life-threateningly major. But advertisements make them appear as easy as facials and waxing. The Indian medical council has strict rules against such misrepresentation. But nobody is interested in taking action. 9) Indirect kickbacks from doctors to prestigious hospitals. To be on the panel of a prestigious hospital, there is give-and-take involved. The hospital expects the doctor to refer many patients for hospital admission. If he fails to send a certain number of patients, he is quietly dumped. And so he likes to admit patients even when there is no need. 10) Emergency surgery" on dead body. If a surgeon hurriedly wheels your patient from the Intensive Care Unit to the operation theatre, refuses to let you go inside and see him, and wants your signature on the consent form for "an emergency operation to save his life", it is likely that your patient is already dead. The "emergency operation" is for inflating the bill; if you agree for it, the surgeon will come out 15 minutes later and report that your patient died on the operation table. And then, when you take  delivery of the dead body, you will pay OT charges, anaesthesiologist's charges, blah-blah- Doctors are humans too. You can't trust them blindly. Please understand the difference. Young surgeons and old ones. The young ones who are setting up nursing home etc. have heavy loans to settle. To pay back the loan, they have to perform as many operations as possible. Also, to build a reputation, they have to perform a large number of operations and develop their skills. So, at first, every case seems fit for cutting. But with age, experience and prosperity, many surgeons lose their taste for cutting, and stop recommending operations. Physicians and surgeons. To a man with a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Surgeons like to solve medical problems by cutting, just as physicians first seek solutions with drugs. So, if you take your medical problem to a surgeon first, the chances are that you will unnecessarily end up on the operation table. Instead, please go to an ordinary GP first                            Prof. B. M. Hegde, MD, FRCP, FRCPE, FRCPG, FRCPI, FACC, FAMS. Padma Bhushan Awardee 2010. Editor-in-Chief, The Journal of the Science of Healing Outcomes, Chairman, State Health Society's Expert Committee, Govt. of Bihar, Patna. Former Prof. Cardiology, The Middlesex Hospital Medical School, University of London, Affiliate Prof. of Human Health, Northern Colorado University, Retd. Vice Chancellor, Manipal University, "Manjunath" Pais Hills, Bejai. MANGALORE-575004. India.

More proof! - http://biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.in/2011/06/doctor-salaries.html

Left Brain/Right Brain

A beautiful depiction of Left Brain and Right Brain...my right brain likes, left brain agrees! :P

 “I am the left brain. I am a scientist. A mathematician. I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear. Analytically. Strategic. I am practical. Always in control. A master of words and language. Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers. I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am.”


"I am the right brain. I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feat. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be."

Sheer Mid-day Newspaper Naughtiness

What do you think the below pic is hinting at?

We know what Sanjay cares for!

If you still didn't get it, it either you are too darn straight or gay!


This is actually typical case of naughtiness by "Page Layout" guys. I remember doing a similar thing with my article picture as I was really bored and so was the page layout guy Rishi. My article actually got passed and went for print with sheer naughtiness in it which none of the senior editors caught. What a (silly) thrill!

Source - Mid-day (Mumbai Edition) Sat 18.02.12

Muthri Conspiracy!

LOL...spotted at Churchgate station...


Muthri - Mufta
Toilet - Rs.0.02???

20 paisa? Who keeps 20 paisa? It's a conspiracy I tell you, we pay them Re.1 and they get 80% profit for the lack of paisa coins nowadays + our precious cargo we leave behind...How Shitty!!!!

iPhone vs Android vs Blackberry

One funny strip...

Click to see larger

Scale of the Universe

Ever wonder how small or large the universe is in reference to you? Check this out, it is amazingly well done!


http://static.flabber.net/files/scale-of-the-universe-2.swf

Dogs say Prayers before Meal

Dogs say their prayer before their meal...so cute!

If this doesn't inspire you to say your prayers...nothing will :)


Original source - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6bL83U_AZc

Snapshots of Life in a Train

Here are a bunch of interesting scenes that I came across when Traveling to Work from Wadala (W)/ Dardar Central to Vikhroli (W)

Updated - 28-1-2012

Tit...wala Station- The only reason why men get up early in the morning and slog their way through the flurry of crowd to get to their destination...LOL.

I call this Heaven (in the midst of crowded station)
This heavenly shot was taken at Dadar station at Platform number 1, after boarding the Train waiting for it to leave the station.

Updated - 21-1-2012

Chunbhatti?? Someone in the Indian Railway ate the "a" from Chunabhatti. Bechare "a" ko chuna lagaya!

How Call Me? This Ad seems to be asking for help on how to call oneself.






Here's another typical AD found in a Local Mumbai train which says...



"Dr. Dube"...lets pause here....any copy that begins with a Dubious name such as Dr.Dube, is not going to install confidence in future patients. Plus what if Dr.Dube actually Dupe's his patients, hence the Dubious-bad-name cover up.

Anyway let's continue...the copy further says...

"I have used on my patient..." Really what have you used Dr.Dube? Your dubious tactics which have proved that "result is over 90%".





Looks like this guy was happier when Bald. Let that be a lesson to all those who go in for such Hair Raising experiences! Be happy with what you have, rather with what you don't ;p

Found this wonderful fellow at Kurla Station @ 1pm in the afternoon while waiting for a friend to arrive. He gave me the most patient and sweetest poses. My phone - Motorola XT5's camera ain't too bad.

EATERNET...LOL. Snapped outside Vikhroli (W) station. The owner was so concerned that he ran up to us to ask what was wrong. Hehe...Illegal stall too I bet! :D





















This pretty girl was sleeping outside Vikhroli (W) station completely oblivious to all the noise, the RAIN or the muck around. Ahh Ignorance is True Bliss.

Lastly, I would like to thank our wonderful Mumbai Railways for the GREAT service that they provide to us commuters everyday. Thank You dear Railways, you make our day possible :)

Wikipedia page on our very own Mumbai Locals
Did you know there is a blog dedicated to only Mumbai Locals? Cool!

When names get wierdly funny

Have you noticed companies have funny weird names?


D'damas Jewels..."DumbAss" Jewels? Lol...even putting the additional "D'" before that doesn't save the name, it just sounds like I'm fumbling to say "D..D..DumbAss Jewels"

HUMOROUS HRD NOTICE

HUMOROUS HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
[ A circular was found in one of the office notice boards ]

Dear STAFF ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

TRANSPORTATION :
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

a)    If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b)  If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c)  If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.

LUNCH BREAK:
a)  Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b)  Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c)  Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

SICK DAYS :
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

TOILET USE :
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a)  There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b)  At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c)  After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
d)  Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.

SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.

Important Note:        
Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.

Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Best regards ,
HR Department
Via Email

Monopolies that Rule the World

Did you know that all sunglasses were actually made by the same manufacturer or that corn was used in everything from food to car tires. Read this amazingly interesting article at Cracked.com

6 Secret Monopolies You Didn't Know Run the World
http://www.cracked.com/article_18845_6-secret-monopolies-you-didnt-know-run-world.html

Future Group Central Brand gone down a watery grave

I didn't know our beloved Future Group was so much in debt that its popular brand "Central" was spotted floating with the fishes.

Shot at Gateway, spotted by Kumash ;)

Can You Guess What These Pictures Are of ?

Click on the photos to see a larger image

They are the back sides of old frying pans…!!!


These amazing photographs have been clicked by Christopher Jonassen, a Norwegian photographer.
Check out his interview here on what inspired him.