Management Employee Appraisal Overview

Management Employee Appraisal Overview

At Moshe's, Mumbai

A very nice sign at Mosh'es, Mumbai...Feel free to apply to Life itself!

Deadlines

Here is a wonderful video to show all those clients that keep asking you to finish stuff in less time.




Source - http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jgvx9OfZKJw

World trade Centre version of Fire escape

This is World trade Centre (Mumbai's) sign of Fire escape! LOL what is that? Liquid Fire?

Steve Jobs cartoons

Bagdadi funny sign

This is a typical sign in old restaurants such as Bagdadi @ Colaba, see map.



Click on the image to see bigger photo

"Food will not be served to Over drunken person"

The sign says "Food will not be served to OVER drunken person".
So the Logic goes - If you are drunken it is OK, but not if you are over drunken! Who decides that, the manager of course, so the house always wins! Damn the manager must have a background of a Casino Management.

Don't know what is Bagdadi? I highly recommend to check out Bagdadi menu and reviews on Burrp!

Speak Like Sean Connery

Wanna speak like Sean Connery, say the below line...

When to Pray

Pride of Sea Captain painting by Linda Cabrera

There is a story of a sea captain who in his retirement skippered a boat taking day-trippers to Shetland Islands.

On one trip, the boat was full of young people. They laughed at the old captain when they saw him say a prayer before sailing out, as the day was fine and the sea calm.

However they weren't long at sea when a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to roll & pitch violently.
The terrified passengers came to the captain and asked him to join them in prayer. But he replied, "I say my prayers when it's calm. When it's rough I attend to my ship."



Here is a lesson for us......
If we cannot seek God in quiet moments of our lives; we are not likely to find him when trouble strikes. We are more likely to panic. But if we have learnt to seek him and trust him in quiet moments, then we most certainly will find him when the going gets rough !


Image sourced from http://fineartamerica.com/featured/pride-of-sea-captain-linda-cabrera.htm

The NEW 2012 FORD-RENAULT

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women, which should be far less susceptible to theft.








They are mixing the Renault Clio and the Ford Taurus, calling it the "Clitaurus."

The average male thief won't be able to find it, let alone operate the damn thing!

Don't say the Government doesn't care

LOL...this is quite mean actually


Don't say the Government doesn't care

    Letter from the PM -


        Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the
        economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put
        workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme
        will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
        
        Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible
        for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
        
        Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the
        SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be
        RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government
        deems appropriate.
        
        Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for
        Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
        Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not
        be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
        
        Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT
        (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government
        has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should
        you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the
        attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the
        SHIT you can handle.

Just Look up

THE BUZZARD:
If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 
feet and is entirely open at the top, the
bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will
be an absolute prisoner. The reason is
That a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground
with a Run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space
to run, as is its habit, It will not even
attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner
for life in a small jail with no top.


THE BAT:

The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a
remarkable nimble creature in the air,
cannot take off from a level place.
If it is placed on the floor or flat
ground, all it can do is shuffle about
helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it
reaches some slight elevation from which it can
throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it
takes off like a flash.



THE BUMBLEBEE:

A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will
be there until it dies, unless it is taken out.
It never sees the means of escape at the
top, but persists in trying to find some way out
through the sides near the bottom.. It
will seek a way where none exists, until it
completely destroys itself..





PEOPLE:

In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and
the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our
problems and frustrations, never realizing that
all we have to do is look up! That's the
Answer, the escape route and the solution to any problem! Just look up.






Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up!

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and
trust in our Creator who loves us.

How far are Friends, Beer, Girls and Wife?

Tom Tom GPS - Star Wars Behind the Scene

Hilarious!

Darth Vader recording for TomTom GPS - behind the scenes




Yoda recording for TomTom GPS - behind the scenes

Steve Jobs Reincarnated

Moses meets Steve

iPaid

Email Monk

Tattoos anyone?

My son told me - Dad, I would like to have a tattoo.
I told him - No, nobody has one in our family ... and you are not having one !!!
He asked me - Why not ? All my friends have a tattoo ! 
I told him - It would be a stain on your body !
 
He pleaded with me - Dad, please, please, just a Cartoon Character on the belly ?
And after many hours of discussion I gave in and decided to let him. 
After all, he was a young man with his own freedom of choice ...
and I thought ... 

a Cartoon Character ... is probably not so bad!  







  

Mulabhai with Muliben

EVEN NATURE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!

What is Mark Zukerberg's whore called?

Quick question...What is Mark Zukerberg's whore called?...
.
.
.
.
.
Think...
.
.
.
.
.
I'll give you a Hint: It's in Hindi!
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.

This is an actual profile on facebook! Go search...LOL.


Original Joke contributed by Ameya Dalvi!

Meal made by angry wife

Click on image to view bigger

Shembood Face

See GIF below, the girl's expression, it's hilarious!!

The below gif is a little big (2MB), please be patient

Mind like water

Mind is like Water, Negativity is like Mud....


Click on the image to view larger

Kingfisher Beer Up

The KFBeerup in Mumbai at California Pizza Kitchen (@BKC) was awesome!! Thank you Kingfisher and CPK, you guys are the best!

Here are some photos taken with my Motorola Quench XT5

Click on the album to view

KF BeerUp Party

Meher Baba - Don't Worry Be Happy

Don't Worry, Be Happy" was released in September 1988, and became the first a cappella song to reach number one on the US charts. At the 1989 Grammy Awards, "Don't Worry Be Happy" won the awards for Song of the Year, Record of the Year, and Best Male Pop Vocal Performance. The song's title is taken from a famous quote by Meher Baba. The original music video stars Robin Williams and Bill Irwin.

 

The Indian mystic and sage Meher Baba (1894–1969) often used the expression "Don't worry, be happy". In the 1960s, this expression by Baba was printed up on inspiration cards and posters of the era. In 1988, McFerrin noticed a Meher Baba poster in the apartment of the jazz band Tuck & Patti in San Francisco. Inspired by the expression's charm and simplicity, McFerrin wrote the now famous song, which was included in the soundtrack of the movie Cocktail, and became a hit single the next year. In an interview by Bruce Fessier for USA Weekend Magazine in 1988 McFerrin said, "Whenever you see a poster of Meher Baba, it usually says 'Don't worry, be happy,' which is a pretty neat philosophy in four words, I think."

Plus check this link out to a t-shirt made on the poster!

http://teenormous.com/t-shirts/Men-s-Don-t-Worry-Be-Happy-T-Shirt-by-Palmercash-737980

Contributed by Fali Singara

The Egg Bitterrer

Today I share a very peculiar type of product. It is designed with only one prupose in mind, to make your egg BITTER!!!!

Found at Hometown Vihroli (W), Mumbai

Rape Shop

There are all kinds of specialty shops out there, but I didn't know that there was a super-specialty shop for "Rape"!

Visit the Rape shop here - www.khandelwaldrapeshop.com and don't forget to ask for special discounts!

Source - I saw this at work on a colleagues desk. I think he stopped getting the bag the next day.

Lens camera Buying Guide

Excellent buying guide as to which lens one ought to buy and what all the terminologies mean.

http://www.dpreview.com/articles/9162056837/digital-camera-lens-buying-guide

F1 Drivers: behind the Scenes infographic

For all F1 fans, see what your favourite drivers have to do to keep in the game. In Today's Hindustan Times


Click to enlarge

Dynamic Range

Good article on understanding what Dynamic Range is in Cameras. 
http://www.cambridgeincolour.com/tutorials/dynamic-range.htm

Amaron Batteries 'Life Saver' TVC

One of the funniest AD's ever...listen to the music, the lyrics (scroll below)...



source - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5oYtcjI06M

Lyrics -
Purappettu purappettu, aal ippo purappettu. Onnu poda! Vokaay! He rides like a breeze, thru coconut trees. mm.. ladies ladies please, you'll go weak in the knees. aaha - killer. If you look around there are noone atleast look at him go he's such? a big piece, he rides like a breeze. yeah, he rides like a breeze. yeah! tana nanananna.

Awesome SMS's

Sometimes I look at some people and wonder, "Really?? This was the sperm that won?.."

A kid asked Swami Vivekanand. "sab kuch knone se zyada bura kya hai..?" Swamiji replied "wo umeed khona jiske bharose par hum sab kuch wapas paa sakte hai!"

Bob asked his doctor if he had ever laughed at a patient. "In over 20 years I haven't. I do my best to remain professional". With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest willy the Doctor had ever seen. it was no bigger than an AAA sized battery. Doc bursts out into uncontrollable laughter, wipes away his tears, takes a deep breath and says, "I'm sorry, I really am, It won't happen again. Now tell me how can I help you?" Bob says, "It's swollen".

"Lesser is the traffic of thoughts in your mind...
Easier is the journey of life"...have a very blissful day :)

7 Cardinal Rules of LIFE...strange but true
1.Make peace with ur past so it won't screw up the present
2. What other ppl think of u is none of ur business
3. time heals almost everyhting, give time.
4. No one is incharge of your happiness except you
5. Don't compare your life with others and don't judge them. you have no idea what there journey is all about.
6. STOP THINKING too much, it's alright not to know all the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.
7. Smile :) you don't own all the problems in the world

God upsets our plans only to setup His plan for us, because we see our present and plan our future but, He sees our future & plans our present. God bless you!

The smallest unit of TIME has both, a beginning & an end. Where the beginning and the end meet is the MOMENT. get to the moment; step into ETERNITY...Now is as good a time as any!

The Government today announced that it is changing it's emblem from the Ashoka Pillar to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance...A condom allows inflation, hatls production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks and give you a sense of security while you're actually  being screwed. Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate ;)

Indian Newspaper Headlines in 2060

Indian Newspaper Headlines in 2060...

Kasab dies at 75 in jail of high high cholesterol due to too much biryani.

Golmaal Part 27 is released. Tusshar Kapoor is still unable to speak or act!

Sharad Pawar own half the world

Facebook is declared a country

A Raja's son is arrested for 16G scam.

A girl in delhi travels 50 feet safely!

"Lakshadweep Cats" to be the 63rd team to join IPL.

Does Recycled Paper Really Save Trees?

For all you environmentalists out there, ZDNet answers the basic question of whether recycled paper really does save trees. Read to know the truth...

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/doc/does-recycled-paper-really-save-trees/1859

How to Build a Computer from Scratch

Excellent resources on this on how to build a computer from scratch, sites that help you out etc...

http://lifehacker.com/5828286/how-to-build-a-computer-from-scratch-lesson-5-further-resources

Angry Birds Live

Wouldn't you love it if you could play Angry Birds Live? Well people did in Barcelona.



Original Link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzIBZQkj6SY

See the interesting Behind the scenes making of it



Original Link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYSzff245dk

Amazing Church Signs

Amazing, funny and true Church signs! Click on the photos to view them larger.

Music synchronised with tesla coils

Music synchronised with tesla coils...very interesting!






Source - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fs6tonfmkk4

The Kiss

Photo Taken from Best Angle Ever

The Senses Challenge

Trust your senses a lot? Challenge your senses in this short 20 question test. The test even gives clear explanations as to why our senses see illusions in a particular way.






 http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/body/interactives/senseschallenge/senses.swf?

Timely Qoutes

1. Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness.
-Jean de La Bruysre

2. Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it, and spend it rather than invest it.
-Jim Rohn

3. Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.
-Leonardo Da Vinci

4. Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.
-Henry Van Dyke

5. One realizes the full importance of time only when there is little left of it. Every man's greatest capital asset is his unexpired years of productive life.
-P.W. Litchfield

6. Many of us spend half our time wishing for ! things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
-Alexander Woollcott

7. Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.
-Stephen Swid

Nyiragongo Crater: Journey to the Center of the World

The most extreme closeup photos of the Nyiragongo volcano crater

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/02/nyiragongo_crater_journey_to_t.html?s_campaign=8315

Amazing Guitar - Harvard University - Kennedy School Talent Show 2011 - Winning Act

This guy's amazing! Check out his totally awesome guitar skills

Common term know how's

Etymology of common words/terms we use. Interesting read!


[1]FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).

[2]POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened.

[3]MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.

[4]BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.

[5]DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped..

[6]NEWS refers to information from Four directions

N-orth, E-ast, W-est, and S-outh.

[7]AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.

[8]QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest..

[9]JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.

[10]TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.

[11]JEEP is a vehicle with unique gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'. Over time GP became JEEP.

[12]Coca-Cola was originally green.

[13]The most common name in the world is Mohammed..

[14]The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with - Asia, America, Australia, Europe

[15]The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

[16]TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

[17]Women BLINK nearly twice as much as men!!

[18]You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

[19]It is impossible to lick your elbow.

[20]Wearing HEADPHONES for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times!

[21]It is physically impossible for PIGS to look up into the sky.

[22]The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

[23]Each KING in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.

Spades- King David

Clubs- Alexander the Great,

Hearts- Charlemagne

Diamonds- Julius Caesar.

[24]What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans.- All were invented by women!

[25]A CROCODILE cannot stick its tongue out.

[26]A SNAIL can sleep for three years.

[27]All POLAR BEARS are left handed.

[28]BUTTERFLIES taste with their feet.

[29]ELEPHANTS are the only animals that can't jump.

[30]In the last 4000 years, no new ANIMALS have been domesticated.

[31]STEWARDESSES is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

[32]The human HEART creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

[33]RATS multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

[34]People say "BLESS YOU" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

[35]If you SNEEZE too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. So good to bless the sneezing person